Tag Archive | negative

Repost: Six Tips to Overcome Negative Thoughts

permission to walk awayBack in December I received a great article from a law of attraction newsletter called “7 Tips to Overcome Negative Thoughts.”  The seventh tip was a sales pitch, but the other six tips are good and useful.  Here is that article, minus the sales pitch, in full.

#1. Think about something or someone you like

 Maybe even write a list of ten things that you like, and spend your time thinking about them. This can help you put a smile on you face easily and distract the negative thoughts.
#2. Be grateful
Write down the things or people in your life that you are grateful for. Being grateful helps appreciate what you already have and move your focus to gratitude. The mind can only hold one thought at a time, so if you are thinking about the things you are thankful for, there is no more room for negative thoughts to exist.
#3. Go out and help someone
By helping someone, you move your focus from the negative thoughts you have to the solution thoughts that help solve someone’s problem.

#4. Change the tone of your thoughts from negative to positive. For example, instead of thinking, “We are going to have a hard time adjusting to our living situation,” think, “We will face some challenges in our living situation, but we will come up with solutions that we will both be happy with.”

#5. Surround yourself with positive people
When you’re stuck in a negative spiral, talk to people who can put things into perspective and won’t feed your negative thinking.
#6. Read positive quotes
There are plenty of places online that you can go and look for positive and inspirational quotes. These quotes are powerful because they can change your emotional state quickly.

Reblog: 9 Things Successful People Won’t Do

https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140818190427-50578967-9-things-successful-people-won-t-do

Some great advice for becoming more successful!  Here is Mr. Bradbury’s article in full:

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My last post, How Successful People Stay Calm, really struck a nerve (it’s already approaching 1.5 million reads here on LinkedIn). The trick is that managing your emotions is as much about what you won’t do as it is about what you will do.

TalentSmart has tested more than a million people and found that the upper echelons of top performance are filled with people who are high in emotional intelligence (90% of top performers, to be exact). So, I went back to the data to uncover the kinds of things that emotionally intelligent people are careful to avoid in order to keep themselves calm, content, and in control. They consciously avoid these behaviors because they are tempting and easy to fall into if one isn’t careful.

While the list that follows isn’t exhaustive, it presents nine key things that you can avoid in order to increase your emotional intelligence and performance.

They Won’t Let Anyone Limit Their Joy

When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from comparing yourself to others, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something that they’ve done, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or accomplishments take that away from them.

While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within. Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain—you’re never as good or bad as they say you are.

They Won’t Forget

Emotionally intelligent people are quick to forgive, but that doesn’t mean that they forget. Forgiveness requires letting go of what’s happened so that you can move on. It doesn’t mean you’ll give a wrongdoer another chance. Emotionally intelligent people are unwilling to be bogged down unnecessarily by others’ mistakes, so they let them go quickly and are assertive in protecting themselves from future harm.

They Won’t Die in the Fight

Emotionally intelligent people know how important it is to live to fight another day. In conflict, unchecked emotion makes you dig your heels in and fight the kind of battle that can leave you severely damaged. When you read and respond to your emotions, you’re able to choose your battles wisely and only stand your ground when the time is right.

They Won’t Prioritize Perfection

Emotionally intelligent people won’t set perfection as their target because they know it doesn’t exist. Human beings, by our very nature, are fallible. When perfection is your goal, you’re always left with a nagging sense of failure, and you end up spending your time lamenting what you failed to accomplish and what you should have done differently instead of enjoying what you were able to achieve.

They Won’t Live in the Past

Failure can erode your self-confidence and make it hard to believe you’ll achieve a better outcome in the future. Most of the time, failure results from taking risks and trying to achieve something that isn’t easy. Emotionally intelligent people know that success lies in their ability to rise in the face of failure, and they can’t do this when they’re living in the past. Anything worth achieving is going to require you to take some risks, and you can’t allow failure to stop you from believing in your ability to succeed. When you live in the past, that is exactly what happens, and your past becomes your present, preventing you from moving forward.

They Won’t Dwell on Problems

Where you focus your attention determines your emotional state. When you fixate on the problems that you’re facing, you create and prolong negative emotions and stress, which hinders performance. When you focus on actions to better yourself and your circumstances, you create a sense of personal efficacy that produces positive emotions and improves performance. Emotionally intelligent people won’t dwell on problems because they know they’re most effective when they focus on solutions.

They Won’t Hang Around Negative People

Complainers are bad news because they wallow in their problems and fail to focus on solutions. They want people to join their pity party so that they can feel better about themselves. People often feel pressure to listen to complainers because they don’t want to be seen as callous or rude, but there’s a fine line between lending a sympathetic ear and getting sucked into their negative emotional spiral. You can avoid getting drawn in only by setting limits and distancing yourself when necessary. Think of it this way: if a person were smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the second-hand smoke? You’d distance yourself, and you should do the same with complainers. A great way to set limits is to ask complainers how they intend to fix a problem. The complainer will then either quiet down or redirect the conversation in a productive direction.

They Won’t Hold Grudges

The negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. Just thinking about the event involved sends your body into fight-or-flight mode. When a threat is imminent, this reaction is essential to your survival, but when a threat is ancient history, holding onto that stress wreaks havoc on your body and can have devastating health consequences over time. In fact, researchers at Emory University have shown that holding onto stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease. Holding onto a grudge means you’re holding onto stress, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs. Learning to let go of a grudge will not only make you feel better now but can also improve your health.

They Won’t Say Yes Unless They Really Want To

Research conducted at the University of California in San Francisco shows that the more difficulty that you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression. Saying no is indeed a major challenge for most people. “No” is a powerful word that you should not be afraid to wield. When it’s time to say no, emotionally intelligent people avoid phrases like “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain.” Saying no to a new commitment honors your existing commitments and gives you the opportunity to successfully fulfill them.

 

 

Detachment and the Law of Attraction

Self portrait taken January 24, 2014 showing new haircut, new hair style, and black eye makeup.

Self portrait taken January 24, 2014 showing new haircut, new hair style, and black eye makeup.

Tonight I am stepping back from the professional blogging in favor of something personal once more.  Those of you who know me or at least follow my work know that back in December I made a dramatic course change in my life — starting with a change in hair style and color and a new piercing in my ears.  I wear black a lot more now — something my mother discouraged.  But more importantly, a friend of mine introduced me to the movie “The Secret” and the Law of Attraction.

 

The Law of Attraction is a fairly simple idea that thinkers across history have phrased various ways such as “you reap what you sow” and “what goes around comes around.”  It is the idea that like attracts like.  A positive, optimistic attitude will attract positive events and a pessimistic, problem-centric attitude will attract more adversity.  Or thought of another way, it is the idea that as you think, so does your reality become.  Self-fulfilling prophesy.

 

A broad spectrum of teachers talk about how one’s emotions are your best guide to this.  when you feel good about something, you are attracting the positive.  But when you feel not good about something, whatever it is will only hurt you; the wise person turns away from whatever is causing the bad feeling in favor of what feels good.  This is not pleasure seeking so much as letting your emotions communicate to you what is in your sub-conscious mind which itself is the level of yourself where the Law of Attraction operates.

 

So what do you do when you feel neutral?  What does it mean when you really do not feel ANYTHING.

 

I looked this up tonight and found some helpful answers so important that I am blogging 90 minutes past my bed time for the evening.  Here is the full discussion: http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/2418/what-does-detachment-truly-mean-in-law-of-attraction

 

Here is the most useful part of that post:

 

Let’s list a couple of manifestational facts:

  • 99% of every manifestation is complete before you see any physical evidence of it – the only way you know then how close you are to seeing physical evidence of it is not through your five physical senses, but instead…how you feel about it. Once you are genuinely feelinghopeful of your manifestation coming, the physical evidence will start appearing…reaching the emotion of hope about a manifestation is the tipping point.
  • The neutral point is your friend…this is a favorite saying of mine. It means that if you do not stand in the way of your manifestation, it must come to you. Standing in the way means looking at it and feeling any negative emotion about it not being there yet. Feeling neutral about it is good enough to manifest it eventually.

So what do we get if we apply these to your situation?

We have that…

  • Even though you might be on the verge of manifesting your part-time job, the only physical indication you might have that it is almost there is that you are feeling hopeful about it.
  • Even if you can’t feel hopeful about it, as long as don’t feel negative emotion about it not having come yet, you will still get it eventually.

So let’s deal right now with wiping out negative emotion about you not having the job yet…I would recommend learning EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). It’s quick, easy, effective and free to learn. There are lots of free videos on YouTube. Every time you think about your situation without a part-time job (and the implications of that), just use EFT to neutralize the negative emotion.

But it’s not much use getting your job eventually since you want it as soon as possible, I presume.

In order to speed up the manifestation of anything, we need to flow more energy towards it. The purest way to flow energy towards something you want is to feel appreciation about it…the feeling of appreciation is actually an indicator of pure energy flow.

So to speed up the manifestation of your part-time job, start making lists of things about that part-time job that make you feel appreciative. Or visualize all the great things that will happen in your life once you get that part-time job. (I recommend getting a copy of Ask & It Is Given external link (opens in new window) and looking at the manifestational processes listed there).

But here’s the big twist in manifesting…since you are no longer standing in the way of your part-time job (we’ve handled the negative emotion with EFT, remember?), then any pure energy flow (i.e. appreciation) towards anything will automatically manifest your part-time job. This is because that pure energy flow of appreciation is flowing to everything you want at the same time. Sounds counter-intuitive doesn’t it?

In other words, you don’t have to detach from your part-time job to manifest it. You just have to not feel bad about it and then just use something as an excuse to feel appreciation – and that can include things totally unrelated to your part-time job.

Let’s summarize.

The fastest way to manifest something you need (i.e. your part-time job) is the following.


Step 1. Get out of the way of your part-time job coming. Neutralize any negative emotion you feel regarding the lack of it.

Step 2. Now find anything in your life to feel good about and keep using that thing (or things) as an excuse for staying in that good-feeling place.