Tag Archive | goal

Repost: 10 Brutal Truths About Success No One Wants to Hear

Today I found this article from Inc. on Twitter about finding success–both personally and professionally. I really love it and I think you will too! Author: Jeff Haden.

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“Ask successful people how they achieved their success and you’ll hear words like “hard work,” “sacrifice,” and “persistence.”

Dig a little deeper and you’ll find some other common attitudes and habits, like these:

1. They know their success was only inevitable in hindsight.

Read stories of successful entrepreneurs and it’s easy to think they have some intangible entrepreneurial something–ideas, talent, drive, skills, creativity, whatever–that you don’t have.

Wrong. Success is inevitable only in hindsight. It’s easy to look back on an entrepreneurial path to greatness and assume that every vision was clear, every plan was perfect, every step was executed flawlessly, and tremendous success was a foregone conclusion.

It wasn’t. Success is never assured. Only in hindsight does it appear that way.

If you’re willing to work hard and persevere, who you are is more than enough. Don’t measure yourself against other people.

Pick a goal and measure yourself against that goal–that is the only comparison that matters.

2. They decided to choose themselves.

Once you had to wait: to be accepted, to be promoted, to be selected–to somehow be “discovered.”

Not anymore. Access is nearly unlimited; you can connect with almost anyone through social media. You can publish your own work, distribute your own music, create your own products, attract your own funding.

You can do almost anything you want–and you don’t have to wait for someone else to discover your talents.

The only thing holding you back is you–and your willingness to try.

3. They help others succeed, knowing that ensures they will succeed.

No one accomplishes anything worthwhile on his or her own. Great bosses focus on providing the tools and training to help their employees better do their jobs–and achieve their own goals. Great consultants put their clients’ needs first. Great businesses go out of their way to help and serve their customers.

And as a result, they reap the rewards.

If you’re in it only for yourself, then someday you will be by yourself. If you’re in it for others, you’ll not only achieve success. You’ll also have plenty of real friends.

4. They know that sometimes the best way to finish first is to be the last.

Success is often the result of perseverance. When others give up, leave, stop trying, or compromise their principles and values, the last person left is often the person who wins. Other people may be smarter, better connected, more talented, or better funded. But they can’t win if they aren’t around at the end.

Sometimes it makes sense to give up on ideas, projects, and even businesses–but it never makes sense to give up on yourself.

The one thing you can always be is the last person to give up on yourself.

5. They do what no one else is willing to do.

The extra mile is a lonely place, because almost no one goes there.

Go there–as often as you can.

6. They don’t network. They truly connect.

Often the process of building a network takes on a life of its own and becomes a numbers game.

You don’t need numbers. You need real connections: people you can help, people you can trust, people who care.

So forget numbers. Reach out to the people whom you want to be part of your life–even if just your professional life–for a long time. When you do, forget about receiving and focus on providing; that’s the only way to establish a real connection and relationship.

Make lasting connections and you create an extended professional family. You’ll be there when they need you, and they will be there when you need them.

7. They think, but more important, they do.

Strategy is not a product. Binders are filled with strategies that were never implemented.

Develop an idea. Create a strategy. Set up a rudimentary system of operations. Then execute, adapt, execute some more, and build a solid operation based on what works.

Success isn’t built on strategy. Success is built through execution.

Incredibly successful people focus on executing incredibly well.

8. They know “leader” is a title that is earned, not given.

“Leaders” aren’t just the guys who double the stock price in six months, or the gals who coerce local officials into approving too-generous tax breaks and incentives, or the guys who are brave enough to boldly go where no man has gone before.

(If you don’t get that last reference, you’re too young. Or I’m too old. Probably both.)

Those are examples of leadership–but typically the kind of leadership that is situational and short-lived.

Real leaders consistently inspire, motivate, and make you feel better about yourself than you might even think you have a right to feel. They’re the kind of people you’ll follow not because you have to but because you want to.

You’ll follow them anywhere–and you’ll follow them forever, because they have a knack for making you feel like you aren’t actually following. Wherever you’re headed, you always feel like you’re going there together.

Creating that bond takes time.

9. They see success as an outcome, not a driver.

Ever heard someone say, “If I got promoted, then I would work harder”? Or, “If the customer paid more, then I would do more”? Or, “If I thought there would be a bigger payoff, I would be willing to sacrifice more”?

Successful people earn promotions by first working harder. Successful businesses earn higher revenue by first delivering greater value. Successful entrepreneurs earn bigger payoffs by first working hard, well before any potential return is in sight.

Most people expect to be compensated more before they will even consider working harder.

Incredibly successful people see compensation as the reward for exceptional effort, not the driver–whether that reward is financial or personal or simply the satisfaction that comes from achieving what you worked incredibly hard to achieve.

10. They wish you knew there really are no dirty little secrets.

Except this one: There are no magic bullets. There are no shortcuts. There are no hacks.

Success–in whatever you choose to pursue–is always achieved through hard work and persistence.

It’s easier to assume that other people succeed because they have something you don’t have. But in reality, the primary difference is that they are willing to do something you won’t do.

So go do it.

The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.
PUBLISHED ON: NOV 21, 2016″

Repost: 11 Things Truly Successful People Never Do

This morning I found this article from Inc. about success.  The information is so good I have to share!

the universe will remove

“1. Successful people refuse to fit in a box.

“Thinking outside the box” is a business cliché writ large. But truly successful people do more than that–they live outside the box.

They don’t let other people define them, whether those other people are malicious or well-meaning. They don’t listen to the jealous boss who tells them that they’ll never be a leader. Perhaps more important, they don’t hedge their ambitions because a parent or a teacher told them that–for example–they’re “good with numbers” but not creative, or an excellent team player but not a leader. They don’t just develop their strengths. They define their strengths.

Challenge: What external expectation do you need to let go of?

2. Successful people don’t bear grudges.

It takes a lot of effort to win a battle. But when you bear grudges, it’s like you’re fighting a war that only one side even knows about.

Sure, if we bothered, most of us could probably dig deep into our pasts and find a time when we were wronged–almost unforgivably wronged. Even thinking about it, however, hands another victory to whoever wronged you. Direct your energy at something else–the things you truly care about.

Challenge: We all hold on to some things too long. What transgression do you need to forgive?

3. Successful people refuse to argue over “nothings.”

Again: wasted energy.

You’re not going to convince that diehard Trump/Hillary/Bernie supporter on Facebook to change his or her mind. Truly successful people spend their energy on things they can truly affect.

Challenge: What deeply held conviction holds you back? Are you prepared to let it go?

4. Successful people refuse to quit.

Successful people are often more successful simply because they work harder. And they work harder in part because the work they do doesn’t feel like work–at least, it doesn’t feel like drudgery. Their work is the kind of thing they’d do even if they weren’t paid for it (and sometimes, they aren’t!).

However, whether it’s rewarding or not, they don’t ignore the important work that needs to be done.

Challenge: You don’t have to say it aloud, but when was the last time you blew off something important and covered it with excuses? Are you planning to do it again anytime soon?

5. Successful people never betray their values.

At the end of everything, what else do you have besides your deeply held values?

Maybe you have a deep religious faith. Maybe you think it’s wrong to eat meat. Maybe you’d never root for an American League baseball team because you think the designated hitter ruined the sport. These are your values, not mine, my friend–and I’m sure they’re tested all the time. Truly successful people don’t have a lot of non-negotiables, but the ones they do have are sacrosanct.

Challenge: Can you articulate your core values? Even more important, are they obvious to others?

6. Successful people never betray friends or family.

Of course, this doesn’t mean letting yourself be rolled over. You have to stick up for yourself. However, truly successful people know that if your close family and true friends can’t trust you, why would anyone else?

Challenge: Um, when was the last time you called your folks?

7. Successful people never lose sight of their goals.

Identifying and pursuing your goals means the difference between spinning your wheels and actually getting somewhere. You’ll put in the same effort regardless of how well you focus on objectives, but if your aim is deficient, chances are that you’ll just be helping someone else achieve his or her goals.

Challenge: Can you articulate your three most important goals? What have you done today to make them come true?

8. Successful people combat self-doubt in all its forms.

Fear is normal, even healthy–but defeatism is a disease. I’m not sure where it comes from, but we all face it. Successful people refuse to give in, but what’s more, they make it part of their mission to help other people overcome self-doubt, too.

The easiest way to do that? Demonstrate respect for others in all that you do.

Challenge: Have you built up someone else’s ego today? If not, is it because you’re afraid that doing so will tear down your own self-worth? (Overcome that!)

9. Successful people refuse to betray their health.

Another non-negotiable. None of us lives forever, yet the temptation is always there to trade fitness, or sleep, or well-being for a pauper’s price–a few extra bucks, a little bit of esteem in a boss’s eyes. Truly successful people have no room for that in their lives. Their health is one of their top priorities.

Challenge: What’s the one thing you should do differently to ensure you have a better chance at living a long time–and well?

10. Successful people refuse to be dominated by others.

We all face bullies in our lives. Truly successful people don’t put up with them. They find ways to prevail. They don’t necessarily fight the other guy on his turf, but they find a way to win.

Beware that you don’t contradict the rule about not holding grudges with this one, but successful people find that standing up for themselves often means standing up to someone else.

Challenge: Who are the bullies you know? What have you done to offset their impact on others?

11. Successful people never give in to competition.

This is a multifaceted element. Successful people never run from competition–but they don’t let themselves be suckered into being measured by somebody else’s rules. They understand the wisdom of the reverse of that old lottery slogan: “You can’t lose if you refuse to play.”

At the same time, when they win, they can take a compliment. Truly successful people don’t gloat, but they also don’t minimize their contributions when other people are eager to offer them praise.

Challenge: What competitions are you engaging in that aren’t truly worthwhile?”

Repost: 17 Differences Between Rich and Poor

923544_522633857793764_2029061548_nMy interest in the Law of Attraction means I inevitably receive a lot of email, most of it designed to sell something to me — a seminar, a video, a book.  I am sure you are not alone.  Email lists are wonderful — except for the way so many of them inevitably are designed to sell you something.  It is one reason, actually, why I defy conventional wisdom and do NOT set up mailing lists of fans or potential fans for my books.  I hate junk email and I’m sure you do too!

 

This morning I received an email that was clearly designed to sell me a book or something focusing on what rich people do that poor people do not do.  I have no interest in buying whatever they are selling.  But sprinkled among the standard “buy this” fare, the email did contain some useful information, information I am republishing here.

Stripping away the stuff we don’t want, here is the useful things from that email with just ONE “buy my book” link retained as a form of citation:

——————————————

The process of manifestation states that thoughts lead to feelings, feelings lead to actions, and actions lead to results. Everything in your life begins with your thoughts and your thoughts are generated from your mind.
Therefore it is vital to know how to program your mind so the thoughts you think are supportive thoughts which help you to achieve your financial goals.
The universal truth is that we become what we think about. Buddha also said “All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become”. It’s an obvious fact that if you want to be someone you have to think like that person.
Thinking British is the surest way to become British.

Thinking British is the surest way to become British.

For example if you want to be an engineer, you have to think like an engineer. If you want to be rich, you have to think like the rich. Fortunately the way of thinking can be learnt and practised.
The following are the 17 wealth files which can be found in “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind” book.
Wealth File #1:
Rich people believe “I create my life.”
Poor people believe “Life happens to me.”
Wealth File #2:
Rich people play the money game to win.
Poor people play the money game to not lose.
Wealth File #3:
Rich people are committed to being rich.
Poor people want to be rich.

new-york-times-best-selling-author3

To become a New York Times Best Selling Author, one has to think like one.

Wealth File #4:
Rich people think big.
Poor people think small.

Wealth File #5:
Rich people focus on opportunities.
Poor people focus on obstacles.

Wealth File #6:
Rich people admire other rich and successful people.
Poor people resent rich and successful people.

Wealth File #7:
Rich people associate with positive, successful people.
Poor people associate with negative or unsuccessful people.

Wealth File #8:
Rich people are willing to promote themselves and their value.
Poor people think negatively about selling and promotion.

Be bigger than your problems.  Immigration to the United Kingdom is only as difficult as I believe it to be.

Be bigger than your problems. Immigration to the United Kingdom is only as difficult as I believe it to be.

Wealth File #9:
Rich people are bigger than their problems.
Poor people are smaller than their problems.

Wealth File #10:
Rich people are excellent receivers.
Poor people are poor receivers.

Wealth File #11:

Rich people choose to get paid based on results.
Poor people choose to get paid based on time.

Wealth File #12:
Rich people think “both.”
Poor people think “either/or.”

 

gbp-50-british-pounds-2Wealth File #13:
Rich people focus on their net worth.
Poor people focus on their working income.

Wealth File #14:
Rich people manage their money well.
Poor people mismanage their money well.

Wealth File #15:
Rich people have their money work hard for them.
Poor people work hard for their money.

Wealth File #16:
Rich people act in spite of fear.
Poor people let fear stop them.

Wealth File #17:
Rich people constantly learn and grow.
Poor people think they already know.

Money mind holes — why getting too specific hurts Manifestation

If you are following anything related to The Secret or the Law of Attraction, you have probably heard the mantra of “be specific about what you want.”  When it comes to attracting money in particular, the experts tell you to get very specific, to meditate “I want fifty million dollars by December 2014.”

 

This is great if numbers make sense to you on a subconscious level.  But what if they do not?  What if in saying out a number, you actually block your meditation from moving from your conscious, intellectual self to your subconscious emotional self where the Law of Attraction actually does its work?

 

On this blog and across the internet, I am very open about both my violent upbringing and about the consequences of the traumatic brain injury I suffered in November 1985 when a right turning automobile struck me in the left temple as I was crossing the street on my way home from school.

Besides the sight loss and the chronic migraines suffered ever since, the most prominent residual from that TBI remains my dis-connection with numbers in the arithmetic sense.  Show me a regular value in a ledger, a bank statement, etc. and my brain does not connect to it.  Shift that from a regular numeral value to a spatial value — a gram of weight, a unit of time, a temperature, a quantity of milk or fabric or other everyday object and I understand just fine.  Or thought of another way, I can still and rather expertly relate to concentrate numbers specifying an amount of something I can see, feel, hear, experience with my senses.  But when it comes to straight numbers, especially applied to something even more abstract — like money — and neither my intellectual mind nor my emotional subconscious understands.

 

If something does not exist to your subconscious mind, you simply cannot manifest it through the Law of Attraction.  You cannot feel yourself already in possession of that which does not exist to you.

 

And this is the problem with a lot of the goals we try to set for ourselves, where fear and doubt easily creep in.  What we are asking for only exists to our intellect; it doesn’t exist to our hearts.

This summer when I tried using Napoleon Hill’s meditation telling me to specify the amount of money I want, when I want to receive it, what I will give up to receive it, and the plan to obtain it my meditation became, “£50 million is mine and shall be in my account before 31st December 2014.  Everyday I am marketing and selling my books and shall give up my time in order to sell so many books that I earn £50 million.”

What I realize today is there is not one, but two flaws in the meditation.  First, as I outlined already, I have no emotional connection or concept of what £50 million is.  My mind, let alone my heart, doesn’t really understand the concept of money.  I understand tangible things bought with money, but not the money itself.  I do not connect to money; only to what it buys.  Second, the pathway specified is upstream to me.  I actually HATE marketing.  I hate begging people to buy my books.  And I especially hate the current financial pressure I am under — wondering if I am about to go bankrupt because there is not enough money in my checking account to cover September’s credit card payment (quite literally).

 

If you have followed anything from Abraham Hicks, you know that negative emotions take you AWAY from what you want.  Forcing yourself to do anything is paddling upstream.  It is the opposite of allowing.  It’s conflict, drama, worry, strife, all the things you must abolish from your life in order to attain what you want and need in life.

 

So after stressing and wrestling overnight, after enough tears of “oh my god my life is over” (no really it is not!) and so forth, it occurred to me that the problem was this meditation itself.  So I re-wrote it to this:

“ALL THE MONEY I NEED TO IMMIGRATE AND ESTABLISH MY NEW LIFE AND NEW CAREERS IN MY NEW HOUSE NEAR LONDON IS MINE AND SHALL BE IN MY ACCOUNT BEFORE 31ST DECEMBER 2014.

EVERYDAY I SHALL CREATE SOMETHING NEW AND TELL THE WORLD ABOUT HOW GREAT MY WORK IS.

BY DECEMBER I SHALL FILE MY IMMIGRATION PAPERS AND LEAVE JOHNSTOWN

FOR NYC AND FOR HOME IN ENGLAND.”

 

Let me tell you, the vibrational difference in this is HUGE — even though the core is exactly the same.  How?  First, it reassures me that everything is okay — because it is — taking that upstream pressure off me.  Second, it focuses on the CORE VALUES motivating me.  Money, being too abstract to me, does not have much independent meaning for me.  But where I live, the politics around me, the way people talk around me, my interactions with my landlord, the quality of my everyday life, now THESE ARE CONCRETE TO ME.  Third, I can easily see myself in possession of all of this.

I can see myself in a lovely house in the south of England (and yes, I have a good idea how much such a house costs) with my modest flower and vegetable garden sanctuary.  I can see myself hosting small dinner parties attended by friends and colleagues.  I can smell the English rain.  I can see myself taking the train into London to see a play.  I can hear Rolling Stones Now as I attend one of their concerts in person, cheering on Richard Mann as “Mick” during the concert.  And I can see myself walking in these fantastic historical places I have so far only explored in books, making history much more real for me.  Oh the pleasure I shall feel the first time I walk in London and can finally understand these places are REAL. There are a thousand places in England I want to explore.  I can feel the light from the eyes of my British-born friends as they watch me discover what each of them have always taken for granted.  It will be this amazing experience across the board, my enthusiasm touching everyone around me as I finally find myself at home.

 

THIS IS WHAT IS REAL TO ME.  THIS IS WHAT I CAN SEE/FEEL MYSELF IN POSSESSION OF.  It’s not the £50 million I concretely want — though yes, I know that buying my dream house is expensive, so is just legal immigration and moving to England in the first place, something I cannot do until my credit cards and my education are paid off.  But the money is the means to the end.  That is all it is to me, not the end unto itself.  Money frees me to leave the United States.  Money convinces London to grant my application for permanent residency.  Money buys my home and everything in it.  Money brings my most cherished possessions across the ocean and hires those skilled at filing the paperwork to bring my precious cockatiels out of the United States and into the United Kingdom (this costs about £2000 to £4000 for those unaware).  Yes, the financial needs to achieve what I really want are quite high.  This is not cheap.  The Law of Attraction knows this and is abundantly providing all of it to me.

But first I must allow it to be.  First I must put my emotions where all of this is achieved.  I cannot feel the money.  But I can feel my house.  I can feel my home office.  I can hear the parties.  I can see myself relaxing in my garden, a pen/paper in hand to write out ideas that come to me.  And I can feel that famous English rain.

 

I know it will be.

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