Tag Archive | emotion

The Human Touch: Thoughts about the Teachings of Esther/Abraham Hicks

I am really into the Law of Attraction.  I believe in and the power that our thoughts make on our reality and what comes to us.

negative emotion is

One of the best known lecturers on The Law of Attraction is Esther Hicks who is allegedly channeling a group of beings collectively known as “Abraham.”  While the advice given is generally sound, I do confess a certain unease at the whole channeling thing; it smacks of a scam, especially given there are books, DVDs, CDs, cruises, seminars, and so forth for sale in great abundance.  People pay lots of money for an audience with Abraham and to get a personalized reading of sorts from them in the hopes of turning their lives around.

In such a context it becomes a bit of a minefield as one searches for truly helpful affirmations and advice from all the clutter.

Abraham Hicks emotionKey to the philosophy taught is that emotions are on a sort of hierarchical scale ranked from good to bad.  These are allegedly arranged by vibration — a high vibration emotion is certain to attract what you really want in the LoA while a low vibration emotion is said to greatly hinder you in manifesting it.

In  general there is a measure of common sense to it.  Obviously if you are hateful and vindictive, you are not going to attract love.  Like attracts like.  So hate bring more hate.  This really is common sense.  It speaks to the core of the law of attraction — you reap what you sow!

But a side effect inevitably comes when you rank order your emotions:  you repress the ones that you judge wrong or inappropriate.  That is to say you still have the emotions because they are part of the human experience. They make us Sentient spiritual creatures.  There is no capacity to love if there is absolutely no capacity to hate as well; the capacity for BOTH is what defines each on both a psychological and practical level.

So to love you have to also be able to hate.  To trust, you have to be able to not trust.  To be honest, you have to possess the ability to lie.  This is also what I find troubling and unrealistic about the ways that Christians talk about God.  If God is ONLY LOVE, COMPASSION, FORGIVENESS, ETC and CANNOT experience those other things as well then is God truly a Sentient and living being and therefore objectively existing at all?  No wonder it is easy for atheists to argue that God was created by humankind and not the reverse!

And so we are brought back to this organization of emotions.  What happens to you psychologically when you tell yourself “I’m only allowed to feel THESE emotions?”  Answer:  you repress the other ones.  This in turn means you put up walls within your mind and spirit which, intentional or not, naturally grow into walls between yourself and other people.  You end up FEELING LESS.  Empathy wanes.  You lose the ability to understand and relate to other people.  This in turn makes you LESS LOVING, LESS COMPASSIONATE, LESS HAPPY.

In cutting yourself off from the emotions Abraham says are bad for you, you ultimately destroy your own humanity and the best parts of yourself. This in turn makes it easier for you to harm yourself and harm others.  It is, after all, the person who feels the least, who is cut off from her or his emotions that is most capable of destructive behavior — to self and others.

permission to walk away

And this is the danger point with Abraham and why it would be perhaps correct to label them as demons or manipulative spirits.

That is not to say that they are completely wrong.  But each assertion needs to be thought about and weighed for its value with a focus on balance.  Instead of arranging emotions from “good” to “bad” recognize that all emotions all important.

I am no longer a Christian, but I see the wisdom in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8:

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

Abraham would have us believe that if we experience both sides that we are harming ourselves.  In reflection I disagree.  We are only harming ourselves if we 1) repress emotions instead of embrace them or 2) focus our energy on hurtful emotions (and therefore attract more hurt to our lives).

Tulips Bouquet

There are many sources of wisdom and inspiration.  The human experience has no limit to these.  Balance comes from applying wisdom from MANY sources of inspiration — from Christianity, from Judaism, from Islam; from Wicca, from Buddhism and Daoism, from Shamanism, from Asatru, and a thousand voices from across time and space.

Embrace your humanity.  Feel your feelings.  Keep your focus on what you want and always phrase everything positively.  Look honestly at your life and think about what barriers your mind projects between the direction you choose for yourself and achieving it.  Believe and have faith and confidence in your ability to achieve and reach what you focus.  Say “I WILL” instead of “I want.”

The law of attraction is powerful. It is common sense. But even as mindfulness about it offers the potential to bring great good and joy in our lives, how we go about it also makes a difference.  For when we wall up part of our emotions in our pursuit of happiness we ultimately destroy our ability to feel, to connect, and therefore be truly happy.

Repost: It’s the Doubt (Abraham Hicks)

Today’s re-post from Abraham Hicks is called “It’s the Doubt.”

You have to understand that it´s the DOUBT,

that you are trying to find your way out of,

Not the accomplishment of whatever it is, 

that you doubt you can accomplish!

Did you hear that??

The work is to work your way out of the feeling of doubt,

NOT into the feeling of having whatever it is that you´re feeling doubtful about!

That´s so big!

– Abraham Hicks

 

 

Money mind holes — why getting too specific hurts Manifestation

If you are following anything related to The Secret or the Law of Attraction, you have probably heard the mantra of “be specific about what you want.”  When it comes to attracting money in particular, the experts tell you to get very specific, to meditate “I want fifty million dollars by December 2014.”

 

This is great if numbers make sense to you on a subconscious level.  But what if they do not?  What if in saying out a number, you actually block your meditation from moving from your conscious, intellectual self to your subconscious emotional self where the Law of Attraction actually does its work?

 

On this blog and across the internet, I am very open about both my violent upbringing and about the consequences of the traumatic brain injury I suffered in November 1985 when a right turning automobile struck me in the left temple as I was crossing the street on my way home from school.

Besides the sight loss and the chronic migraines suffered ever since, the most prominent residual from that TBI remains my dis-connection with numbers in the arithmetic sense.  Show me a regular value in a ledger, a bank statement, etc. and my brain does not connect to it.  Shift that from a regular numeral value to a spatial value — a gram of weight, a unit of time, a temperature, a quantity of milk or fabric or other everyday object and I understand just fine.  Or thought of another way, I can still and rather expertly relate to concentrate numbers specifying an amount of something I can see, feel, hear, experience with my senses.  But when it comes to straight numbers, especially applied to something even more abstract — like money — and neither my intellectual mind nor my emotional subconscious understands.

 

If something does not exist to your subconscious mind, you simply cannot manifest it through the Law of Attraction.  You cannot feel yourself already in possession of that which does not exist to you.

 

And this is the problem with a lot of the goals we try to set for ourselves, where fear and doubt easily creep in.  What we are asking for only exists to our intellect; it doesn’t exist to our hearts.

This summer when I tried using Napoleon Hill’s meditation telling me to specify the amount of money I want, when I want to receive it, what I will give up to receive it, and the plan to obtain it my meditation became, “£50 million is mine and shall be in my account before 31st December 2014.  Everyday I am marketing and selling my books and shall give up my time in order to sell so many books that I earn £50 million.”

What I realize today is there is not one, but two flaws in the meditation.  First, as I outlined already, I have no emotional connection or concept of what £50 million is.  My mind, let alone my heart, doesn’t really understand the concept of money.  I understand tangible things bought with money, but not the money itself.  I do not connect to money; only to what it buys.  Second, the pathway specified is upstream to me.  I actually HATE marketing.  I hate begging people to buy my books.  And I especially hate the current financial pressure I am under — wondering if I am about to go bankrupt because there is not enough money in my checking account to cover September’s credit card payment (quite literally).

 

If you have followed anything from Abraham Hicks, you know that negative emotions take you AWAY from what you want.  Forcing yourself to do anything is paddling upstream.  It is the opposite of allowing.  It’s conflict, drama, worry, strife, all the things you must abolish from your life in order to attain what you want and need in life.

 

So after stressing and wrestling overnight, after enough tears of “oh my god my life is over” (no really it is not!) and so forth, it occurred to me that the problem was this meditation itself.  So I re-wrote it to this:

“ALL THE MONEY I NEED TO IMMIGRATE AND ESTABLISH MY NEW LIFE AND NEW CAREERS IN MY NEW HOUSE NEAR LONDON IS MINE AND SHALL BE IN MY ACCOUNT BEFORE 31ST DECEMBER 2014.

EVERYDAY I SHALL CREATE SOMETHING NEW AND TELL THE WORLD ABOUT HOW GREAT MY WORK IS.

BY DECEMBER I SHALL FILE MY IMMIGRATION PAPERS AND LEAVE JOHNSTOWN

FOR NYC AND FOR HOME IN ENGLAND.”

 

Let me tell you, the vibrational difference in this is HUGE — even though the core is exactly the same.  How?  First, it reassures me that everything is okay — because it is — taking that upstream pressure off me.  Second, it focuses on the CORE VALUES motivating me.  Money, being too abstract to me, does not have much independent meaning for me.  But where I live, the politics around me, the way people talk around me, my interactions with my landlord, the quality of my everyday life, now THESE ARE CONCRETE TO ME.  Third, I can easily see myself in possession of all of this.

I can see myself in a lovely house in the south of England (and yes, I have a good idea how much such a house costs) with my modest flower and vegetable garden sanctuary.  I can see myself hosting small dinner parties attended by friends and colleagues.  I can smell the English rain.  I can see myself taking the train into London to see a play.  I can hear Rolling Stones Now as I attend one of their concerts in person, cheering on Richard Mann as “Mick” during the concert.  And I can see myself walking in these fantastic historical places I have so far only explored in books, making history much more real for me.  Oh the pleasure I shall feel the first time I walk in London and can finally understand these places are REAL. There are a thousand places in England I want to explore.  I can feel the light from the eyes of my British-born friends as they watch me discover what each of them have always taken for granted.  It will be this amazing experience across the board, my enthusiasm touching everyone around me as I finally find myself at home.

 

THIS IS WHAT IS REAL TO ME.  THIS IS WHAT I CAN SEE/FEEL MYSELF IN POSSESSION OF.  It’s not the £50 million I concretely want — though yes, I know that buying my dream house is expensive, so is just legal immigration and moving to England in the first place, something I cannot do until my credit cards and my education are paid off.  But the money is the means to the end.  That is all it is to me, not the end unto itself.  Money frees me to leave the United States.  Money convinces London to grant my application for permanent residency.  Money buys my home and everything in it.  Money brings my most cherished possessions across the ocean and hires those skilled at filing the paperwork to bring my precious cockatiels out of the United States and into the United Kingdom (this costs about £2000 to £4000 for those unaware).  Yes, the financial needs to achieve what I really want are quite high.  This is not cheap.  The Law of Attraction knows this and is abundantly providing all of it to me.

But first I must allow it to be.  First I must put my emotions where all of this is achieved.  I cannot feel the money.  But I can feel my house.  I can feel my home office.  I can hear the parties.  I can see myself relaxing in my garden, a pen/paper in hand to write out ideas that come to me.  And I can feel that famous English rain.

 

I know it will be.

Shock Fiction: What Popularity of Horror and Erotica Genres Say About Our Culture

Next up is my look at why sex and violence seem to outsell more conservative fare.

 

cover art to Fifty Shades of Grey -- one of the worst written and most poorly edited bestsellers of all time

cover art to Fifty Shades of Grey — one of the worst written and most poorly edited bestsellers of all time

Shock Fiction: What Popularity of Horror and Erotica Genres Say About Our Culture

A Look at the Popularity of Sex and Violence in the Media

 February 8th, 2014

Sex and violence sell. For decades we’ve seen the connection between book/movie/music popularity and graphic violence/graphic sex. Can it be any wonder why Miley Cyrus bares all or why a song implying that women don’t mean “no” to sex when they say it topped the charts in 2013? We relish in treating women as bodies for male gratification; it’s shocking and therefore appealing to us, like some sort of dark sexual fantasy.

Except the fantasy does not match with our experiences. Rape is not fun. It’s not sexy. It’s an act of brutal violence that stays with us, often for the rest of our lives. Rape is about power, control and domination over another living being. In the real world, there is nothing fun about being on the receiving end of it.

Violence too is also not the fantasy the media we consume tells us it is. Speak to any woman or child in a battered woman’s shelter and ask her how “fun” it was to be beaten, raped, intimidated, controlled, or worse. Violence may be entertaining to hear about, read about, or watch on the big screen, but the actual experience is far from something you want for yourself. If it were, post-traumatic stress disorder (PSTD) would be as rare to psychotherapists as smallpox to American hospitals.

Given this disconnect, why do we need to consume these fantasy experiences that, ultimately, further callous us against the suffering of others? Why do we buy the sexually violent and poorly written “Fifty Shades of Grey” over better written books modeling healthy relationships between women and men?

Perhaps we have closed ourselves off to our emotions, to our ability to feel in our own lives, let alone sympathize and empathize with others. Rather than face the challenges in our own lives, we find it easier to wall our emotions away – much as the fictional Vulcans repress their emotions. Once repressed, our own emotions become difficult to access. We lose touch with those things that bring meaning to our lives and no longer remember how to relate the experiences of others to our own lives – a critical form of learning that other primates find exceedingly difficult if not impossible to attain.

If we cannot see ourselves reflected in other living beings, it becomes easy to ignore experiences we would never wish for ourselves. In essence, we de-humanize everyone else. Others have no real value. It is profoundly selfish of us.

We become completely emotionally disconnected. Can it be any wonder we seek to fill this void with whatever excitement we can find – sexual or violent?

But we can do better than this. We can embrace our feelings better and learn how to deal with life’s challenges in ways that keep us connected and related to other people. One simple way to do that is to turn off our electronics and return our focus to attentive in-person and voice-telephone contact. Yes, this means we need to learn to listen again instead of constantly broadcasting everything in our heads. Yes, this involves more self-control. Rather than bullying from afar, we have to re-learn the humanity of others by keeping our remarks civil if not kind and spoken from much closer physical distances.

Once we achieve this we will find ourselves able to respond not only to the breadth that literature has to offer us, but the breadth and depth of the human experience. We will not need cheap and shallow thrills or instant fame anymore. We will grow to appreciate the subtleties in humor and plot. We will come alive once more.

Detachment and the Law of Attraction

Self portrait taken January 24, 2014 showing new haircut, new hair style, and black eye makeup.

Self portrait taken January 24, 2014 showing new haircut, new hair style, and black eye makeup.

Tonight I am stepping back from the professional blogging in favor of something personal once more.  Those of you who know me or at least follow my work know that back in December I made a dramatic course change in my life — starting with a change in hair style and color and a new piercing in my ears.  I wear black a lot more now — something my mother discouraged.  But more importantly, a friend of mine introduced me to the movie “The Secret” and the Law of Attraction.

 

The Law of Attraction is a fairly simple idea that thinkers across history have phrased various ways such as “you reap what you sow” and “what goes around comes around.”  It is the idea that like attracts like.  A positive, optimistic attitude will attract positive events and a pessimistic, problem-centric attitude will attract more adversity.  Or thought of another way, it is the idea that as you think, so does your reality become.  Self-fulfilling prophesy.

 

A broad spectrum of teachers talk about how one’s emotions are your best guide to this.  when you feel good about something, you are attracting the positive.  But when you feel not good about something, whatever it is will only hurt you; the wise person turns away from whatever is causing the bad feeling in favor of what feels good.  This is not pleasure seeking so much as letting your emotions communicate to you what is in your sub-conscious mind which itself is the level of yourself where the Law of Attraction operates.

 

So what do you do when you feel neutral?  What does it mean when you really do not feel ANYTHING.

 

I looked this up tonight and found some helpful answers so important that I am blogging 90 minutes past my bed time for the evening.  Here is the full discussion: http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/2418/what-does-detachment-truly-mean-in-law-of-attraction

 

Here is the most useful part of that post:

 

Let’s list a couple of manifestational facts:

  • 99% of every manifestation is complete before you see any physical evidence of it – the only way you know then how close you are to seeing physical evidence of it is not through your five physical senses, but instead…how you feel about it. Once you are genuinely feelinghopeful of your manifestation coming, the physical evidence will start appearing…reaching the emotion of hope about a manifestation is the tipping point.
  • The neutral point is your friend…this is a favorite saying of mine. It means that if you do not stand in the way of your manifestation, it must come to you. Standing in the way means looking at it and feeling any negative emotion about it not being there yet. Feeling neutral about it is good enough to manifest it eventually.

So what do we get if we apply these to your situation?

We have that…

  • Even though you might be on the verge of manifesting your part-time job, the only physical indication you might have that it is almost there is that you are feeling hopeful about it.
  • Even if you can’t feel hopeful about it, as long as don’t feel negative emotion about it not having come yet, you will still get it eventually.

So let’s deal right now with wiping out negative emotion about you not having the job yet…I would recommend learning EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). It’s quick, easy, effective and free to learn. There are lots of free videos on YouTube. Every time you think about your situation without a part-time job (and the implications of that), just use EFT to neutralize the negative emotion.

But it’s not much use getting your job eventually since you want it as soon as possible, I presume.

In order to speed up the manifestation of anything, we need to flow more energy towards it. The purest way to flow energy towards something you want is to feel appreciation about it…the feeling of appreciation is actually an indicator of pure energy flow.

So to speed up the manifestation of your part-time job, start making lists of things about that part-time job that make you feel appreciative. Or visualize all the great things that will happen in your life once you get that part-time job. (I recommend getting a copy of Ask & It Is Given external link (opens in new window) and looking at the manifestational processes listed there).

But here’s the big twist in manifesting…since you are no longer standing in the way of your part-time job (we’ve handled the negative emotion with EFT, remember?), then any pure energy flow (i.e. appreciation) towards anything will automatically manifest your part-time job. This is because that pure energy flow of appreciation is flowing to everything you want at the same time. Sounds counter-intuitive doesn’t it?

In other words, you don’t have to detach from your part-time job to manifest it. You just have to not feel bad about it and then just use something as an excuse to feel appreciation – and that can include things totally unrelated to your part-time job.

Let’s summarize.

The fastest way to manifest something you need (i.e. your part-time job) is the following.


Step 1. Get out of the way of your part-time job coming. Neutralize any negative emotion you feel regarding the lack of it.

Step 2. Now find anything in your life to feel good about and keep using that thing (or things) as an excuse for staying in that good-feeling place.