The following just arrived in my email from Book Marketing Tools. I think it contains excellent analysis and information.
The following just arrived in my email from Book Marketing Tools. I think it contains excellent analysis and information.
I am really into the Law of Attraction. I believe in and the power that our thoughts make on our reality and what comes to us.
One of the best known lecturers on The Law of Attraction is Esther Hicks who is allegedly channeling a group of beings collectively known as “Abraham.” While the advice given is generally sound, I do confess a certain unease at the whole channeling thing; it smacks of a scam, especially given there are books, DVDs, CDs, cruises, seminars, and so forth for sale in great abundance. People pay lots of money for an audience with Abraham and to get a personalized reading of sorts from them in the hopes of turning their lives around.
In such a context it becomes a bit of a minefield as one searches for truly helpful affirmations and advice from all the clutter.
Key to the philosophy taught is that emotions are on a sort of hierarchical scale ranked from good to bad. These are allegedly arranged by vibration — a high vibration emotion is certain to attract what you really want in the LoA while a low vibration emotion is said to greatly hinder you in manifesting it.
In general there is a measure of common sense to it. Obviously if you are hateful and vindictive, you are not going to attract love. Like attracts like. So hate bring more hate. This really is common sense. It speaks to the core of the law of attraction — you reap what you sow!
But a side effect inevitably comes when you rank order your emotions: you repress the ones that you judge wrong or inappropriate. That is to say you still have the emotions because they are part of the human experience. They make us Sentient spiritual creatures. There is no capacity to love if there is absolutely no capacity to hate as well; the capacity for BOTH is what defines each on both a psychological and practical level.
So to love you have to also be able to hate. To trust, you have to be able to not trust. To be honest, you have to possess the ability to lie. This is also what I find troubling and unrealistic about the ways that Christians talk about God. If God is ONLY LOVE, COMPASSION, FORGIVENESS, ETC and CANNOT experience those other things as well then is God truly a Sentient and living being and therefore objectively existing at all? No wonder it is easy for atheists to argue that God was created by humankind and not the reverse!
And so we are brought back to this organization of emotions. What happens to you psychologically when you tell yourself “I’m only allowed to feel THESE emotions?” Answer: you repress the other ones. This in turn means you put up walls within your mind and spirit which, intentional or not, naturally grow into walls between yourself and other people. You end up FEELING LESS. Empathy wanes. You lose the ability to understand and relate to other people. This in turn makes you LESS LOVING, LESS COMPASSIONATE, LESS HAPPY.
In cutting yourself off from the emotions Abraham says are bad for you, you ultimately destroy your own humanity and the best parts of yourself. This in turn makes it easier for you to harm yourself and harm others. It is, after all, the person who feels the least, who is cut off from her or his emotions that is most capable of destructive behavior — to self and others.
And this is the danger point with Abraham and why it would be perhaps correct to label them as demons or manipulative spirits.
That is not to say that they are completely wrong. But each assertion needs to be thought about and weighed for its value with a focus on balance. Instead of arranging emotions from “good” to “bad” recognize that all emotions all important.
I am no longer a Christian, but I see the wisdom in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8:
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
Abraham would have us believe that if we experience both sides that we are harming ourselves. In reflection I disagree. We are only harming ourselves if we 1) repress emotions instead of embrace them or 2) focus our energy on hurtful emotions (and therefore attract more hurt to our lives).
There are many sources of wisdom and inspiration. The human experience has no limit to these. Balance comes from applying wisdom from MANY sources of inspiration — from Christianity, from Judaism, from Islam; from Wicca, from Buddhism and Daoism, from Shamanism, from Asatru, and a thousand voices from across time and space.
Embrace your humanity. Feel your feelings. Keep your focus on what you want and always phrase everything positively. Look honestly at your life and think about what barriers your mind projects between the direction you choose for yourself and achieving it. Believe and have faith and confidence in your ability to achieve and reach what you focus. Say “I WILL” instead of “I want.”
The law of attraction is powerful. It is common sense. But even as mindfulness about it offers the potential to bring great good and joy in our lives, how we go about it also makes a difference. For when we wall up part of our emotions in our pursuit of happiness we ultimately destroy our ability to feel, to connect, and therefore be truly happy.
Most writers want to do just one thing: write our books. Few of us come from marketing backgrounds. Still fewer of us think of ourselves as entrepreneurs and business owners. In the old ages of traditional publishing, authors rarely had to be any of those things. We slaved away trying to get a publisher to notice our work and/or securing a literary agent who would pimp our work for us — for a fee — while we went off and kept writing.
Self-publishing and the digital age has changed that for both self-published and traditional publishers. Just as cigarette machines have gone by the wayside and Sherlock Holmes uses nicotine patches instead of smoking his pipe in response to smoking regulations in London, the days of in-house marketing and advertising for books by publishers are gone. Today authors must do most of the work themselves.
There are no shortage of marketing firms to delegate to, of course, but as I found out across the winter of 2014 when I hired 180Fusion, marketing firms too often care about getting the business — any way they can.
What this means is that marketing firms promise the sun and moon to you — if you hire them. 180Fusion promised to put me on the New York Times bestseller list within 30 days, using my natural optimism to augment their pitch. I, like most people, want to believe that people are telling me the truth. I have faith that everything works out. I have faith in the quality of my work. I know these books are well-written and reflect a lifetime of scholarship and dedication to my craft.
180Fusion took that and used that very positive quality against me with their pitch about what they can do with advertising on facebook.
Facebook advertising can and does work for some people. The essence of their work is to study the numbers to make facebook ads profitable, making adjustments until the ads result in sales. As Jonathan Gebauer points out, this actually is sound — but with one catch that was omitted from the pitch until I was ready to close my account: it takes time, often months and years for it to work.
This is not something that can be achieved in the 30 days promised to me back in December 2013 when I signed up. In fact it was only when I made a fuss about not getting results that I was told, quite condescendingly, that what they promised was actually not at all possible. Then they said I needed to give it more time. Just give it more time.
This was the truth in the lie. It takes time. Except they never told me this upfront, before I signed up. They told me when I was ready to cancel, when they knew my patience was at an end.
Now normally I am a very patient person. If this service had cost me $10 a month, odds are very good I would have stuck it out. Except it costs a minimum of $300 a month — when my budget was $10 a month! This was known from the onset. So they promised me the sun and moon and instant results. It didn’t matter that their service was many times more than my budget! Because I would re-coup what I spent with them very quickly.
It was a lie and they knew it! It was predatory, disrespectful, and sadly not atypical of far too many marketing firms.
Instead, their focus was on getting me to sign up; it didn’t matter that to pay for their service I would have to plop down hundreds to thousands of dollars on a high rate credit card; as long as they were getting paid, they really did not care about me or my books.
Most people have a word for that and it is not nice at all!
So what can we learn from this?
Number one: NO MARKETING STRATEGY GIVES INSTANT RESULTS. As Jonathan Gebaur puts it, “Marketing never comes with a red button. 90% of the time marketing means: Work… Frustration… Small Improvements. Working out the little details. Improving little things to improve our results just a little bit. Good results take a lot of sweat and tears.”
Number two: no matter what a pitch says, do not spend what you do not have in cash right now. Set your budget honestly and hold to it. If a company tells you that your budget doesn’t matter and you must spend more than that with them, they do not care about you; they care about getting your money.
Number three: choose carefully. Know that whatever do in terms of marketing and advertising will take several months to get results from. Don’t just throw money at things hoping they will work; approach this with a plan and a clear set of perimeters and goals. Pick one primary approach (like guest posting) and focus on that. Don’t try to make everything happen all at once from everywhere. Chaos works against you and ultimately robs you of your ability to focus, concentrate, and respond to your business and reader’s needs.
Marketing firms are out there to help you and should be used by independent authors. But as with so many things, the rule “buyer beware” applies. Ask questions, probe firms for answers, and if you see even a whiff of a hard sell or pressured pitch, run do not walk away. Any business who cannot respect your budget and your goals is not really interested in working for you; rather they just want your money.
A few days ago I received this fantastic article in my email about how to say “no” to people. As women, most of us are trained to NOT say “no” no matter how badly we need to say it. We are told we are selfish, arrogant, and so forth. But “no” is the most important word any woman can say.
Here is Dharma Rose’s Advice on the matter:
“Do you find it hard to say “no”?
If so, you’re not alone.
Many people find themselves saying “yes” to things they don’t really want to agree to out of fear they’ll appear selfish or rude… or in an effort to avoid conflict or hurting another person’s feelings.
Saying “no” isn’t always easy, but it IS vital to your own self care.
You see, healthy people have healthy boundaries, and part of being healthy is occasionally saying no to requests, situations or people that you can’t or don’t want to accommodate.
Here are 5 simple ways that you can say no with ease, power and grace:
Tactic #1: The Full Plate
If you’re way too busy to accommodate the person’s request, let them know you’re slammed and that you simply have no time to fit what they’re asking you to do into your schedule.
“I’m sorry, I’d love to help you, but my schedule is crazy today/this week/this month and there’s no way I can fit this in.”
Tactic #2: The Think-About-It
If you’re not sure if you can fit the person’s request in, or if you’re dealing with someone who is super pushy, consider buying yourself a little time to think about what they’re asking of you and to get back to them on your own terms.
“Let me think about it and I’ll get back to you.”
Tactic #3: The Boomerang
Are you super busy? Or in the middle of something else? You can ask the person to come back to you later on when you have more time to listen to and consider their request.
“I’m in the middle of juggling a few things right now. Can you please ask me again in a couple of hours/days/weeks? I’ll have a bit more headspace then to consider what you’re asking.”
Tactic #4: The Counter Offer
If you can’t or don’t want to agree to the person’s request for whatever reason, but you’d still really like to help them out, consider making a counter offer for a lesser commitment that works better for you.
“I’m sorry, I can’t help you move on Saturday. But I CAN come by for a few hours to help you pack on Friday evening. Does that work?”
Tactic #5: The Firm No
The simplest way to say no is to simply… say no! You can be direct and let the person know that what they’re asking of you just doesn’t work for you, and you’ll be surprised how often people will respect a firm, direct no.
“No, I’m sorry, I can’t.”
As you practice declining requests that don’t align with your schedule, values or needs, you’ll find that saying no becomes easier and easier…
And that you’ll have more time for yourself, the commitments you already have and the things that are most important to you.
Rock your day!
I received this fantastic piece of advice from Marla Madison on BookDaily.com and just had to share it with you:
Does the best singer win American Idol or the Voice? Is the most accomplished dancer the winner of the Mirror Ball Trophy on Dancing With the stars?
Anyone who is a regular viewer of talent reality shows knows this uncontestable fact: the most talented doesn’t always win. In fact, the most well executed dance or song, seldom wins.
What does win?
The winner is the performer who is most popular, the one who captures the hearts of the viewers with both performance and personality.
How does this relate to our writing?
It’s all about entertainment!!!
A few ways to keep your work entertaining:
1. Know your genre. Read, read, read. To entertain requires originality. If you’re afraid your plot is hackneyed, be sure to have a new twist on it. If you don’t keep in touch with others’ work, you’ll have no idea what readers are tiring of.
2. Make your characters original. We’ve all met the perfect protagonist, the one with the super face, toned and buffed body, and excellent skills. Readers want characters that they can identify with—make then real.
3. Make the first chapter exciting. I’ve deleted dozens of books I’ve downloaded because the beginning failed to be interesting. Make your first chapters pull the reader into your book and want to read the entire thing.
4. Series books – Take time to learn how to make each book worthy of standing alone. Check for either too much or not enough back story.
5. Be accessible to your readers. Have a presence on popular networking sites, broadcast your blog, and have a mailing list. Answer every personal message you get.
6. Read reviews of books in your genre. Reviews will put you on the fast track to discovering what entertains your readers.
About the Author:
Marla Madison is a retired Federal Mediator, now working as an Arbitrator for the state of Iowa and the Federal Mediation Service. She’s Not There is her debut suspense novel, and Relative Malice, her second. Marla is working on a third suspense story, that while not a sequel to She’s Not There, does have some of the same characters.
Marla lives on Prairie Lake in Northwestern Wisconsin with her significant other, Terry, a beloved shelter-dog, Skygge, and Poncho, an opinionated feline from the same shelter.
Also an avid reader of suspense, some of her favorite authors are Tana French, Lisa Gardner, Jeffrey Deaver, Jonathan Kellerman, James Patterson, Tess Gerritson, and Tami Hoag.
When not reading or writing, Marla enjoys playing duplicate bridge, golfing, and going on long walks with her dog.
Some excellent advice to authors!
The following is re-blogged from http://writersrelief.com/blog/2014/05/write-characters-people-care-about/
“In a previous article, we explored five ways to make your characters more three-dimensional. Once your characters are believable as living, breathing individuals, the next step is to make readers care about them. When readers are invested in the characters’ struggles and personal stories, they are much more likely to keep reading.
Make Your Characters Need Something. One of the easiest ways to make your character more empathetic is to expose a vulnerability and establish a need to: save a dying mother, fall in love, crack the code, etc. The need can be as simple as “get to work on time” or as complicated as “save the world.” But it will encourage readers to empathize with the character and root for his or her success.
Example: Joe struggles through failed relationship after failed relationship in an attempt to find his soul mate.
Make Your Characters Take A Stand On Important Issues. A character with strong convictions and a cause to be passionate about will intrigue readers and earn their respect. If your audience is interested in your character’s goals and respects your character’s convictions, they’ll be more inclined to follow the story line to its conclusion.
Example: Leslie stands up for women’s equality in the workplace at a local public forum.
Make Your Character The Underdog. Nothing piques the interest of the reader more than the inspirational story of a hero battling against seemingly impossible odds, struggling to find success under the bleakest of circumstances. Who wouldn’t cheer for the little guy? Think David vs. Goliath.
Example: Despite being an amateur boxer, Andrew is nervous but optimistic before his match against the world champion.
Give Your Characters Idealistic Qualities. Readers love characters that embody qualities and ideals they also aspire to. Even if your character is a scoundrel, make him or her a soft-hearted scoundrel. Characters that exemplify the best of humanity entice the reader to stay engaged and keep reading.
Example: Dan may be a pirate, but he will use his ship to run the blockade and bring food to the starving orphans.
Give Your Characters Formidable Foes. Heroes are only as good as the villains who oppose them. Giving your main character adversaries who present challenging obstacles will bring out the best (and sometimes the worst) in your characters. As daunting as that sounds, the journey to overcome these obstacles will further endear your characters to the reader.
Example: Iago has created a web of lies designed to test Othello’s resolve.
Creating characters that evoke empathy in the reader can be challenging, but these five methods will ensure that your efforts are successful. And keep in mind that empathetic characters don’t always have to be likable. Try your hand at writing an unlikable (or even villainous) character that exudes empathetic qualities. Think Patrick Bateman in American Psycho or Severus Snape from the Harry Potter series.”