Tag Archive | action

Repost: 10 Brutal Truths About Success No One Wants to Hear

Today I found this article from Inc. on Twitter about finding success–both personally and professionally. I really love it and I think you will too! Author: Jeff Haden.

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“Ask successful people how they achieved their success and you’ll hear words like “hard work,” “sacrifice,” and “persistence.”

Dig a little deeper and you’ll find some other common attitudes and habits, like these:

1. They know their success was only inevitable in hindsight.

Read stories of successful entrepreneurs and it’s easy to think they have some intangible entrepreneurial something–ideas, talent, drive, skills, creativity, whatever–that you don’t have.

Wrong. Success is inevitable only in hindsight. It’s easy to look back on an entrepreneurial path to greatness and assume that every vision was clear, every plan was perfect, every step was executed flawlessly, and tremendous success was a foregone conclusion.

It wasn’t. Success is never assured. Only in hindsight does it appear that way.

If you’re willing to work hard and persevere, who you are is more than enough. Don’t measure yourself against other people.

Pick a goal and measure yourself against that goal–that is the only comparison that matters.

2. They decided to choose themselves.

Once you had to wait: to be accepted, to be promoted, to be selected–to somehow be “discovered.”

Not anymore. Access is nearly unlimited; you can connect with almost anyone through social media. You can publish your own work, distribute your own music, create your own products, attract your own funding.

You can do almost anything you want–and you don’t have to wait for someone else to discover your talents.

The only thing holding you back is you–and your willingness to try.

3. They help others succeed, knowing that ensures they will succeed.

No one accomplishes anything worthwhile on his or her own. Great bosses focus on providing the tools and training to help their employees better do their jobs–and achieve their own goals. Great consultants put their clients’ needs first. Great businesses go out of their way to help and serve their customers.

And as a result, they reap the rewards.

If you’re in it only for yourself, then someday you will be by yourself. If you’re in it for others, you’ll not only achieve success. You’ll also have plenty of real friends.

4. They know that sometimes the best way to finish first is to be the last.

Success is often the result of perseverance. When others give up, leave, stop trying, or compromise their principles and values, the last person left is often the person who wins. Other people may be smarter, better connected, more talented, or better funded. But they can’t win if they aren’t around at the end.

Sometimes it makes sense to give up on ideas, projects, and even businesses–but it never makes sense to give up on yourself.

The one thing you can always be is the last person to give up on yourself.

5. They do what no one else is willing to do.

The extra mile is a lonely place, because almost no one goes there.

Go there–as often as you can.

6. They don’t network. They truly connect.

Often the process of building a network takes on a life of its own and becomes a numbers game.

You don’t need numbers. You need real connections: people you can help, people you can trust, people who care.

So forget numbers. Reach out to the people whom you want to be part of your life–even if just your professional life–for a long time. When you do, forget about receiving and focus on providing; that’s the only way to establish a real connection and relationship.

Make lasting connections and you create an extended professional family. You’ll be there when they need you, and they will be there when you need them.

7. They think, but more important, they do.

Strategy is not a product. Binders are filled with strategies that were never implemented.

Develop an idea. Create a strategy. Set up a rudimentary system of operations. Then execute, adapt, execute some more, and build a solid operation based on what works.

Success isn’t built on strategy. Success is built through execution.

Incredibly successful people focus on executing incredibly well.

8. They know “leader” is a title that is earned, not given.

“Leaders” aren’t just the guys who double the stock price in six months, or the gals who coerce local officials into approving too-generous tax breaks and incentives, or the guys who are brave enough to boldly go where no man has gone before.

(If you don’t get that last reference, you’re too young. Or I’m too old. Probably both.)

Those are examples of leadership–but typically the kind of leadership that is situational and short-lived.

Real leaders consistently inspire, motivate, and make you feel better about yourself than you might even think you have a right to feel. They’re the kind of people you’ll follow not because you have to but because you want to.

You’ll follow them anywhere–and you’ll follow them forever, because they have a knack for making you feel like you aren’t actually following. Wherever you’re headed, you always feel like you’re going there together.

Creating that bond takes time.

9. They see success as an outcome, not a driver.

Ever heard someone say, “If I got promoted, then I would work harder”? Or, “If the customer paid more, then I would do more”? Or, “If I thought there would be a bigger payoff, I would be willing to sacrifice more”?

Successful people earn promotions by first working harder. Successful businesses earn higher revenue by first delivering greater value. Successful entrepreneurs earn bigger payoffs by first working hard, well before any potential return is in sight.

Most people expect to be compensated more before they will even consider working harder.

Incredibly successful people see compensation as the reward for exceptional effort, not the driver–whether that reward is financial or personal or simply the satisfaction that comes from achieving what you worked incredibly hard to achieve.

10. They wish you knew there really are no dirty little secrets.

Except this one: There are no magic bullets. There are no shortcuts. There are no hacks.

Success–in whatever you choose to pursue–is always achieved through hard work and persistence.

It’s easier to assume that other people succeed because they have something you don’t have. But in reality, the primary difference is that they are willing to do something you won’t do.

So go do it.

The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.
PUBLISHED ON: NOV 21, 2016″

The Law of Attraction: Sorting Facts from Fiction

In my last post I explained how in 2014 I was duped into joining whole cloth the Law of Attraction Movement.  It came to me at a time of fear of the future (especially concerning my financial health) when I felt most lost and vulnerable.  The person who insisted I watch “The Secret” claims to be an actual demon in human form.  This alone should have told me to run, not walk away, especially given my spirituality and past experiences with malicious spirits (aka “demons”).  Instead, the person’s glamour and misdirection of my own instincts (which were just starting to call me home to Wales) deceived me into trying to win his love and approval by making myself into the person he wanted.  The law of attraction movement was at the heart of that.

Background with a Planet, Moon and Star

Law of Attraction teachers like Abraham Hicks focus on emotion as the way to attain what you want in life.

The reason why the Law of Attraction Movement is so popular is because so much of it is based on solid psychology, social psychology, and sociology.  Most of it is actually good advice.  The problem is the 20-30% of it that is NOT solid and leads people into the wrong direction, often for the financial gain of the movement’s “teachers.”  It is for that reason that the Law of Attraction Movement (not the core idea itself) is a scam that predates on people’s worries about the future, the instinct to grow and improve oneself, and in the primal instinct to believe in something or someone greater and more powerful than oneself.

So what is the solid stuff worth listening to?  What parts of the advice given actually works?  Let’s take a look in detail:

  • Your assessment of a situation matters.  That is to say that how you look at something in your life or a potential future event is absolutely critical to your success or failure.  If you see a task as impossible then it will be simply because no one looks for solutions to problems that cannot be solved.  By contrast if you see a situation as easily dealt with then you will quickly find the actions that make this the case.  Your assessment forms a self-fulfilling prophesy.  You fail when you see no way to succeed and you succeed when you believe you can.

Law of Attraction teachers talk about situation assessment in terms of emotions.  It’s all about FEELINGS.  Your feelings need to be the barometer of everything because feelings work on a deeper level of the mind than your thoughts do.

The problem here:  all emotions are based on your thoughts and attitudes, not the other way around as the LoA teachers would have you think.  That is to say that if you want to change how you feel about something you need to change your mind about it.  Thoughts are the controlling factor here, at least once the ego/conscious self forms at around the age of six years old.  For example if you think all Muslims are terrorists then your feelings about Muslims will probably be categorically of a suspicious, fearful, or perhaps even hateful nature.  These feelings will then in turn alter how to behave when it comes to meeting someone or hearing about someone who is Muslim.

The Law of Attraction movement focuses on FEELINGS.  In particular, Abraham Hicks teaches that if you have any sort of "negative" feelings then you will only attract negative things to your life.

The Law of Attraction movement focuses on FEELINGS. In particular, Abraham Hicks teaches that if you have any sort of “negative” feelings then you will only attract negative things to your life.

Law of Attraction teachers tend to skip the attitude part of this when they focus on feelings.  In doing so, they take away your best and most effective tool for changing your life.  This is also why education is so vital to changing our lives.  Education empowers us with knowledge which then shapes our emotions and behaviours.

  • Barriers to success are in your mind.  When we assess situations we are quick to find the reasons why something cannot be done or is otherwise difficult/impossible to achieve.  This in turn blocks us from figuring out how to do something and achieve our goals.

Most Law of Attraction teachers focus on emotions.  The barriers to your manifesting the life you want are not in your thoughts but in the emotions you feel.  It says that “good” emotions attract good things and bad emotions attract bad things.  That in turn makes us judge ourselves quite harshly because no one can be euphoric or feel good all the time about absolutely everything — and if you do, there’s probably something unhealthy at work there!

In truth, the barriers we put between ourselves and our goals tend to be psychological and mental, not emotional.  We say, “I cannot ____ because _____.”  That because can be anything, but usually a situation or a feeling about a situation.  The feeling is not the problem because the feeling changes the moment we change our minds about something.  And genuinely there are some emotions we really do need.  We need to be angry when someone rapes someone.  We need to feel sad when someone we love dies.  We need to feel outrage at an injustice.  These feelings motivate us to make changes and set new goals.

For example, I feel disappointed and upset at the results of the 2015 Parliamentary Election in the United Kingdom; I adore Ed Miliband and really wanted him to become prime minister.  Negative emotion.  Except that in those feelings I have a determination to fight harder, to get more involved in politics, and to actually stand for MP once I become legally eligible to do so.  Negative feelings about David Cameron staying in office has made me decide to chart a new career path!

And that is the value of negative emotions, the very emotions that Law of Attraction teachers tell you will only bring more negative experiences into your life.

  • Focus on what you want to achieve, not how or when you achieve. There is always more than one way to achieve a goal.  A former friend of mine put this as the number fourteen.  How many ways can you reach the number fourteen in arithmetic?  If you see just seven plus seven then you are missing the other fifty plus ways to reach that number.  That is what we tend to do though.  We think that each goal or challenge can only be accomplished ONE WAY.  What is worse:  we tend to set specific time perimeters for achieving this.

Here the Law of Attraction teachers are dead on right.  Too often we do say “this is the way to get what I want” or “I have to have x goal by y date.  Reality is that the universe has its own way and own timing.  Everything happens the way it does in the timing it does because that is the best and easiest way for it to happen.  The key here is to keep your mind and heart open so you can take advantage of the opportunities that come your way.

  • You reap what you sow.  This is the actual law of attraction.  It is the principle that like attracts like that is well documented in social psychology.  Contrary to the popular cliche, opposites repel, not attract. At its core it says, correctly, that your attitudes, emotions, and behaviour have consequences which are similar to whatever the original attitude, emotion, and/or behaviour was.  If you smile, people will smile back at you.  If you yell at someone, that person is likely to yell back at you.  If you hurt someone, you will be hurt back.  If you show interest in someone else’s accomplishments, they will be or at least much more likely to be interested in yours.

The law of attraction itself is not the problem with the law of attraction movement.  The law is solid social psychology explaining the nature of the consequences for our behaviour. The problem with the law of attraction movement is its focus on just the feeling side of this instead of the action side.  If I feel good about something, something good is automatically going to come out of it.

Feelings are great.  But it’s not feelings in isolation that makes things happen.  It’s action.  In the law of attraction movement feelings are put above everything else.  But if you never act on your feelings, you stay where you are.  Things do not change.  Those in the movement with things to sell will say the problem is that your feelings were not lined up correctly — and we can fix that when you buy this item or experience.  Read that SCAM.

Though Law of Attraction teachers do tell you that action is important, this part of the equation is downplayed and rarely discussed in favour of emotions and how to fix your emotions.

There is a solution

But the real key to success in life is taking ACTION.  Not just any action though — it’s easy to get on the hamster wheel and tire yourself out — the hamster wheel is usually what makes us vulnerable to the scam in the first place.  Instead it is INSPIRED ACTION that makes everything happen.  That is to say ACTION WITH CLEAR DIRECTION. It’s relaxing about the how and when in a situation, quieting your mind, and letting your mind solve the problem.  Do not force it.  Do not struggle.  Your mind is expert at solving puzzles; that’s what the human brain does best.  Relax, let the answers come to you, and then act on the answers.  That is what inspired action is.  That is what brings you true success in life.

And best of all, you don’t need to buy a book, a seminar, a cruise, or anything else.  The answers actually lie within your own mind, your own heart, and within your own existing abilities.

Excerpt: Princess Anyu Returns (Enter Anyu Wen)

Princess Anyu Returns digital cover web

It’s finally here!  The final chapter to the Peers of Beinan Series!  Released on 1st February, 2015, Princess Anyu Returns tells the story of Princess Anyu’s exile on D425E25 Tertius and of her return home to Beinan to face the murderous and very treacherous Lord Yelu.  In this scene from chapter two, Enter Anyu Wen, you are treated to a Firefly-influenced opening followed by the introduction of a very dangerous alien.

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Music filled Anyu’s ears as she wandered the mall, light, rhythmic and sweet with the familiar sound of shawms and flutes.  As if in a dream of the home she knew existed no more, Anyu drifted towards the sound.  In the center of a large open space near an escalator, a small troop of performers dressed very much like Beinarians danced and played the sweet music.  Recognizing the dance, Anyu put everything down and joined the forming circle.  Memories swelled.  Her feet knew the steps, transporting her and surprising the performers while the crowd of shoppers applauded.  As the song ended, she disappeared, collecting her belongings once more.  One of the dancers, a man with brown eyes, jet black hair, and apricot skin followed her, “Who are you?”

Anyu turned and faced him, “I beg your pardon?”

“You appeared and disappeared as if from nowhere.  I have never seen you before, yet you knew the steps to our dance.”

“Everyone knows that dance,” remarked Anyu casually.

“Not in this time and place, they do not,” countered the man.

Comprehension filled Anyu, “Ah!  You must be of this Society for Creative Anachronism that people told me about!”

“I am.  My name is Seo-jun.”

“Strange name.”

“It suffices. So what are you doing here?”

“Shopping.  New dress,” motioned Anyu at the fabric of her dress.

Seo-jun raised an eyebrow, “With a heavy pack like that and a basket of food?”

“Sure, why not?”

Seo-jun’s eyes changed from brown to metallic blue, his voice lowering, “You are not from around here.  As a matter of fact, you are not from anywhere near here – not even this galaxy.”

Anyu tensed and instinctively raised her hand to her hip, forgetting for the xiao-shir that her sword was buried in her pack, “Who are you?”

Seo-jun grabbed her arm, “Let us take a walk, Princess!”

 

Seo-jun dragged Anyu to the parking lot outside of the mall.  Forcing her onto the back seat of his black two door Ford Fiesta sedan, he threw her belongings into the car hastily, spilling out one of the kolaches from its basket.   Suddenly a dark-haired and grey-eyed man wearing white trousers, a white t-shirt, and white linen blazer leapt out from behind a nearby station wagon, his laser épée humming fiercely, “Let her go!”

Seo-jun laughed, “Why?  You cannot harm me!” To prove his point, Seo-jun concentrated; the doors on the sedan locked with a loud click.  Anyu tried to pry open the locks; they would not budge.

Understanding her life was in danger she quickly found her sword and drew it from her pack as the man stepped towards Seo-jun with his laser épée.  Closing his eyes and controlling his breath, the locks flew open.  Anyu rolled onto the ground to safety. Lifting a finger, the stranger threw all of Anyu belongings out of the car including the stray kolache which rolled in its protective plastic sandwich bag until it hit Anyu’s pack as Anyu found her feet.

The man with the épée advanced on Seo-jun, “You will leave this world, Seo-jun.”

Seo-jun sneered, “And who will make me?  You?”

“If I must,” confirmed the man, raising his épée and planting his feet firmly to attack.

“Your powers of mind are limited.  Your powers of flesh are even more limited.  When can your kind ever defeat us?” guffawed Seo-jun.

“Perhaps I will die trying,” offered the man.

Anyu raised her sword, taking a defensive position with her strange benefactor, “If he dies, he does not die alone!”

“I did not come here for you, Princess.  But if you wish to die too, I can arrange that.  Pity though; you are worth so much more to me alive – unlike your friend here,” frowned Seo-jun.

“Come now, what would Lady Laela think if she heard you talk that way?  You cannot simply dispose of her favourite pet without provoking her wrath!” cried the stranger sarcastically, his feet instinctively falling into the ritualized martial arts forms of the knights of Gurun.  Anyu smiled, recognizing the steps from countless lessons by Lady Knight Aldris of the knights of Gurun, her feet gliding into complimentary forms in accord with the Gurun style of fighting.  Their two swords – one heritage and one modern – seemed to dance joyfully as they met each other’s eyes.  Two complete strangers yet suddenly comrades in arms.

Undaunted, Seo-jun rolled his eyes, half amused at the irony of a man from the past wielding the modern weapon while the adolescent daughter of Beinan’s conquered queen wielded a heritage sword. It was, from a larger perspective, downright comical while being, from another point of view, rather heroic. “You both surely must realize how useless both your weapons are against me.”

“That has yet to be seen,” challenged the stranger.  “I have never actually attacked one of your species before – but since you obviously are intent on taking one or both of us to Lord Yelu, I see little incentive to not at least try.”  In affirmation, the stranger lunged at Seo-jun with his blade, much to Seo-jun’s annoyance.

Seo-jun deflected the blade with a wave of just one finger, “I am no longer amused.”  Anyu, unaffected by Seo-jun’s telekinesis, glided closer, cutting her blade down and slicing ever so slightly into his shoulder. A few drops of black blood spilled onto the ground, sizzling against the payment acidly.  Seo-jun faced her, his eyes like blue flames, “Unwise!”

Just as Seo-jun was about to throw Anyu into a nearby car with his mind, he observed several native humans approaching their position, obviously attracted by the noise.  A man wearing the navy blue uniform of the State College police department approached cautiously, his firearm drawn.  Seo-jun’s eyes changed back to their brown disguise.  Stepping back towards his sedan, he opened the door, “Very well then, since this place is far too crowded for my taste, let us defer this conversation for another beinor.  I trust you will make peace with your goddesses by then.  I would hate to see your soul trapped around this world.”  Sitting down in the sedan, Seo-jun closed the door, engaged the internal combustion engine, and drove away.

Relieved, the stranger stepped out around a car to turn off his laser épée out of sight of the police officer.  Anyu pulled her sword sheath out of her pack, “What just happened?”

“I would think that would be obvious,” answered the stranger as the police officer reached them.

“State College police,” announced the officer.  “Are you okay?”

Anyu looked at the officer and offered a respective bow, “Yes!  Yes we are – thanks to you!”  The police officer tipped his cap politely before turning back, unwilling to get more involved than absolutely necessary.  Anyu turned once more to the stranger, “Well, now that’s over – did you know that Seo-jun creature?”

‘I do; I did,” admitted the stranger as he re-joined Anyu.

“Who is he?  Perhaps more importantly who are you?”

“That is a long story – to both questions.  I am not entirely certain I know who you are – except that you are not of this world. Why did he call you ‘princess?’”

“I do not know how you know I am not of this world – but he called me ‘princess’ because I am the daughter of my people’s reigning sovereign queen.”

The stranger took off his watch, “This looks like an ordinary multi-function time piece such as local men of wealth wear – but it is not.”  Demonstrating, he tapped the surface of the timepiece rapidly three times.  The display changed. “As I hope you know, all life on this world is kol-based, not silizium-based like we are.  This function scans for silizium-based life.  That is how I found both Seo-jun and you, actually.  All three of us are silizium-based.  But beyond that – all I can tell is that Seo-jun appears to be after both of us – not just me.”

“That name – Lady Laela – sounds familiar. Who is she?”

“Assuming these readings are correct and you come from B345A15 Quartus, also known as planet Beinan?”

“Yes, that is my home world.”

“Mine as well.  Have you ever been to the castle temple of Abka Biya overlooking the Amba Mederi Ocean in Bira Hecen?”

“Yes.

“Do you remember a strange woman with metallic blue eyes who takes care of the temple’s observatory?”

“Vaguely – she did something – scanned me perhaps?  I came to the temple to seek refuge from strange dreams I was having.  She said I was seeing someone I knew in another life – someone named Janus who I later came to recognize as the same soul as this Lord Yelu the Bastard who has no doubt overthrown the Gurun dynasty.”

“Precisely.  That is Lady Laela.”

“You know her?”

“Better than you do – and so does Seo-jun.”

“Who is he?”

“A very dangerous person from an ancient race – Lady Laela’s race actually.  We first met them – we call them ‘The Amur’ – during the Great Migration.  Woe to all Beinarians that beinor ever came.”

“My name is Anyu – Lady Engineer Anyu.”

“You are both a princess and an engineer?”

“Yes.  You find that strange lord…”

“The locals call me ‘Christopher.’”

“That is not your name.”

“No.”

“Why give me an alias?”

“I will tell you my birth name – in time.  This is hardly the place to discuss our world.”

“Agreed.”

“I have a home in town where we can talk more privately – it is not far from here.”

“Lead the way!”

 

Photo: It’s all in the attitude

923544_522633857793764_2029061548_nI found this fantastic photo on facebook that says it all!

 

Attitude is everything!  How you choose to interpret events, how you choose to feel about each event in your life decides your future.  You can see either setbacks in your life — or opportunities.  You decide for yourself whether to hold the vision of what you want and trust in the process — or let yourself be discouraged when things develop differently than your expectation.

 

Remember that the law of attraction finds the EASIEST AND MOST JOYFUL way of doing things.  It knows things your conscious mind does not.  It is like water.  It is the Great River we all live in, carrying us through our lives.

 

Trust, believe, and know everything is as it should be.  Do not let fear hinder you.  Relax and trust in what the universe is doing and how.

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