A few days ago I received this fantastic article in my email about how to say “no” to people. As women, most of us are trained to NOT say “no” no matter how badly we need to say it. We are told we are selfish, arrogant, and so forth. But “no” is the most important word any woman can say.
Here is Dharma Rose’s Advice on the matter:
“Do you find it hard to say “no”?
If so, you’re not alone.
Many people find themselves saying “yes” to things they don’t really want to agree to out of fear they’ll appear selfish or rude… or in an effort to avoid conflict or hurting another person’s feelings.
Saying “no” isn’t always easy, but it IS vital to your own self care.
You see, healthy people have healthy boundaries, and part of being healthy is occasionally saying no to requests, situations or people that you can’t or don’t want to accommodate.
Here are 5 simple ways that you can say no with ease, power and grace:
Tactic #1: The Full Plate
If you’re way too busy to accommodate the person’s request, let them know you’re slammed and that you simply have no time to fit what they’re asking you to do into your schedule.
“I’m sorry, I’d love to help you, but my schedule is crazy today/this week/this month and there’s no way I can fit this in.”
Tactic #2: The Think-About-It
If you’re not sure if you can fit the person’s request in, or if you’re dealing with someone who is super pushy, consider buying yourself a little time to think about what they’re asking of you and to get back to them on your own terms.
“Let me think about it and I’ll get back to you.”
Tactic #3: The Boomerang
Are you super busy? Or in the middle of something else? You can ask the person to come back to you later on when you have more time to listen to and consider their request.
“I’m in the middle of juggling a few things right now. Can you please ask me again in a couple of hours/days/weeks? I’ll have a bit more headspace then to consider what you’re asking.”
Tactic #4: The Counter Offer
If you can’t or don’t want to agree to the person’s request for whatever reason, but you’d still really like to help them out, consider making a counter offer for a lesser commitment that works better for you.
“I’m sorry, I can’t help you move on Saturday. But I CAN come by for a few hours to help you pack on Friday evening. Does that work?”
Tactic #5: The Firm No
The simplest way to say no is to simply… say no! You can be direct and let the person know that what they’re asking of you just doesn’t work for you, and you’ll be surprised how often people will respect a firm, direct no.
“No, I’m sorry, I can’t.”
As you practice declining requests that don’t align with your schedule, values or needs, you’ll find that saying no becomes easier and easier…
And that you’ll have more time for yourself, the commitments you already have and the things that are most important to you.
Rock your day!